Why I Choose to Love Me

I like who I am. I like who I have become. I like who I am still becoming. In short, I have come to a place in my life where I really, really love myself.

I hear the collective gasps out there.

One of those gasps is coming from my old self, who would be mortified. My old self would give my new self a sermon that would go something like this:

“We do not need to be taught self-confidence or self-love, because the problem with the world is that we already have too much of it. People are prideful, and meanwhile, the Bible says we are like filthy rags before God. Stop loving yourself. You’re arrogant and I don’t even want to be around people like you.”

If my old self really believed that she thought too highly of herself, why did she beat herself down constantly? Why did she starve herself, measure her value according to how productive or thin she was, frequently want to cut herself, or think about killing herself?  That is why my old self was dead wrong—she didn’t love herself too much. She didn't love herself at all. She was taught that she was worthless, she was treated as if she was worthless, and she believed that she was worthless…to her parents, to her god, and even in her own heart.

The ironic thing is that I learned these attitudes from people who still claim to value human life more than the rest of society, yet somehow, my life was not included in that equation. They used this inherently abusive teaching to trample me. The tipping point for me was when I read that there is a big difference between being unworthy and being totally worthless, similar to what is taught here.

Humans are valuable. Humans are made in the image of God. God has gifted humans. If it is important for me to protect the lives of other human beings on those premises, why shouldn’t I protect myself? I am human too, after all.

I’m learning to act according to my gifts and inherent God-given value. When I wear what I want to wear, I am pleased with what I’ve expressed. When I listen to a friend share that my story helped him in some way, I know I’m doing the right thing with my life right now. When I publish my freelance work, I feel that I am using my gifts in the way God intended. God is pleased when I'm helping others, so why shouldn't I be pleased?

So I’m here to say that I’ve become my own fan. I love myself, and I think the world would be a better place if everyone could say the same. People wouldn't look for someone to look down on so they could feel better about their own insecurities. They would place high value on rest and self-care, and then would be more ready to serve one another once their own needs were met. Self-harm and suicide rates would drop. Expressing their God-given gifts would lead to individuals reflecting God to the world in a clearer way.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’...‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”