I came across several good quotes the week I completed this
blog. Here are a few...
"Keeping silent about your abuse empowers the abuser to
keep you locked up in the prison he has created just for you. Its time to break
free!" -- Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE)
"A false system has for accomplice whoever spares it
by silence." -- W.E. Best
And paraphrased, "Those who get angry when you
speak the truth are usually living a lie." -- Gaskin, Jr."
Many of you are probably wondering why I am doing this?
I do not seek revenge. I do not want anything bad to happen
to my parents, and I do love them. What I want is for the truth to be known, for their abuse to stop being excused, for them to get professional help, and for the cloud that harbors abuse at Christ Community
Church to be lifted. In order for these things to be happen, my story must be told in
its entirety. In addition, I have a desire for myself, and it is to be free of the chains of silence.
My goal is not to teach others how to respond to abuse. At least, it isn't right now. I do know, though, that there will be some extremely poor responses to the fact that I am making this public. For those who may struggle with this, please see the following resources (Please note that while these articles reference abuse in general and sexual abuse, my parents did not sexually abuse me. However, this does not minimize what they have done.):
"What Forgiveness Isn't" Particularly notice numbers 2 and 5.
"The Robbery of Worship Through the Failure to Act"
Part One: http://netgrace.org/the-robbery-of-worship-through-the-failure-to-act-part-one/
My goal is not to teach others how to respond to abuse. At least, it isn't right now. I do know, though, that there will be some extremely poor responses to the fact that I am making this public. For those who may struggle with this, please see the following resources (Please note that while these articles reference abuse in general and sexual abuse, my parents did not sexually abuse me. However, this does not minimize what they have done.):
"What Forgiveness Isn't" Particularly notice numbers 2 and 5.
"The Robbery of Worship Through the Failure to Act"
Part One: http://netgrace.org/the-robbery-of-worship-through-the-failure-to-act-part-one/
Part Two: http://netgrace.org/the-robbery-of-worship-and-the-failure-to-respond-part-two/
"The Five Necessary Stops" Especially notice the 5th "Stop."
Part One: http://netgrace.org/distorting-the-grace-of-god-the-five-necessary-stops-part-one/
Part Two: http://netgrace.org/distorting-the-grace-of-god-the-five-necessary-stops-part-two/
"Failure to Act" Please notice numbers 4 and 6.
http://netgrace.org/failure-to-act/
If you feel in some way that I am not telling the truth or that I can't be trusted, please save us both the time of commenting. I am, of course, open to answering questions to clarify wherever needed (Though you may ask something I choose not to answer. My story has some very personal aspects to it.), but I am not open to attacks. I'm done thinking I have to endure people's cruelty. I'm learning that I'm a valuable person and I don't accept that kind of pain into my life anymore.
Thank you for reading.
"The Five Necessary Stops" Especially notice the 5th "Stop."
Part One: http://netgrace.org/distorting-the-grace-of-god-the-five-necessary-stops-part-one/
Part Two: http://netgrace.org/distorting-the-grace-of-god-the-five-necessary-stops-part-two/
"Failure to Act" Please notice numbers 4 and 6.
http://netgrace.org/failure-to-act/
If you feel in some way that I am not telling the truth or that I can't be trusted, please save us both the time of commenting. I am, of course, open to answering questions to clarify wherever needed (Though you may ask something I choose not to answer. My story has some very personal aspects to it.), but I am not open to attacks. I'm done thinking I have to endure people's cruelty. I'm learning that I'm a valuable person and I don't accept that kind of pain into my life anymore.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for sharing! It's important for stories like this to be told. Too often abuse gets shoved under the rug, victims are told that they shouldn't say anything or they are not believed because people only see the abuser's sterling outside image, and the abusers still get to present themselves as good role models. No consequences or accountability. Thanks for being so brave. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for believing me and acknowledging the courage.
DeleteSavannah,
ReplyDeleteI hope many will see the beautiful strength and integrity you have displayed and be compelled to share their stories as well.
I believe, as you do that the intent of the abusers is not to destroy their victims. They are misguided, blind, deceived and protected. What a monopoly Satan has in the Church! People, believing they are doing good, acting out their own sinful desires and being encouraged to do more of the same! It is disgusting!
I'm sure the moral decline of our culture has more to do with the sinful state of the church than the media and "worldly" folks we share this nation with.
I read an awesome quote once, "The church is waiting for the world to get right with God and The world is waiting for The Church to get right with God."
Dear Sister, you are doing that (getting right with God) by refusing to worship the idols that religion sets forth and refusing to put the church on the same level with God. That takes courage and a refusal to live for the approval of man!
We have been called to more than obedience to church and the rules of man! The life of Faith is a wild and often scary ride!
Good for you!
Praying for your continued healing and ministry to His Church!
Blessings!
Thank you! Such good words you've written here.
DeleteSavannah thank you for speaking out. If we are going to stop abuse in "Christian" circle, we need to stand against the abuse and the first step is identifying it. My book dealing with this very issue- Who am I? Scriptural Encouragement for Survivors of Domestic Abuse" written by ReJoyce - is the start of my speaking out against the abuse that I endured and my speaking engagements are geared toward breaking the holy hush that crushes victims and supports the horrors of domestic abuse. Visit my website - ReJoyce.TateAuthor.com for more information and to see who I am. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI had a hunch about who you were before I finished the comment. It just makes sense to me, even though no one ever told me what happened to you. So I would describe the realization as enlightening, but not surprising. I read your whole website, and I'm so sorry for what you have suffered at the hands of your husband and religious communities. You are brave! Stunningly BRAVE!!! Thank you also for your voice. I especially love that term you used--"holy hush." That's spot on and very validating to me. I'm wondering if you've ever heard of A Cry For Justice? I think you would like it.
DeleteStrength,
Savannah